How To Deal With Lack of Commitment in Marriage Life?

When you’re in a relationship, you develop a feeling of fondness towards your partner. You must know how to deal with a lack of commitment in marriage life. If you get serious with your partner, then it leads to something serious, i.e., marriage. This is when your relationship no longer remains casual, and you’re committed to each other as husband and wife.    

Initially, you may find the commitment to be quite scary. When you’re committed to someone, you share your life and belongings with that individual as well. This is when you have to set your priorities straight. Also, you need to always think about your partner and bring changes to how you act towards them.

Marriage and Commitment 

If you are not committed to your partner, then you won’t feel like working on your marriage. Also, you won’t spend the time needed to fix your issues within your marriage. You’re physically present within the marriage, but your heart isn’t in it.

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All relationships require commitment. If you aren’t committed to your partner, then you’re not giving importance to your partner’s needs. It is a necessity to take each other’s responsibility as spouses.

Spouses must be equally committed to each other during their conjugal life. You won’t be obligated to work for your partner if you aren’t committed to them. All relationships require commitment.

You need to work on your marriage and put in the effort from your end. If either you or your partner puts in effort, then your marriage won’t prosper.

How Do you Define Marital Commitment?     

You can define commitment as your loyalty towards your partner. We can define this in terms of  personal and moral commitment – 

Lack of Commitment in Marriage Life
  1. Personal commitment – This comprises the emotional aspect. The bond that you form with your spouse is the building block of your marriage. Your husband or wife remains committed to you because that’s what they want. You cannot force it on them. If you remain committed to your spouse, then you’ll understand how to treat them right.  
  2. Moral commitment – It applies if you only stay with your spouse due the religious beliefs. You may be worried about how society will judge you upon getting a divorce. This causes you to remain committed to your partner.

Lack of Commitment to Marriage

It is only obvious to feel frustrated when there is a lack of commitment from your partner. A happy and healthy marriage requires spouses to be committed. If either partner remains committed while the other one isn’t, then it causes both of them to suffer, eventually. 

If you aren’t fully committed to your partner, then your marriage will suffer. Lack of commitment from any one of the partners leads to disharmony in your conjugal life. This causes spouses to drift apart from each other. Also, it causes partners to consider each other for granted.

If you aren’t fully committed to your partner, then chances are infidelity will creep into your relationship. If you do not commit yourself to your partner fully, then you’re opening up the window of temptation. It makes you more susceptible to cheating on your partner.

What Should You Do When There’s a Lack of Commitment to Your Marriage?

Lack of commitment sometimes arises when there are plenty of options for you or your spouse. When things don’t go according to plan, you may desire to have other partners or have a different lifestyle altogether.

This is when it becomes difficult for you to work on your marriage. Your partner may treat you differently when things like this happen. It is crucial that you think of your partner twice before considering someone else.

You must ask yourself if you’re committed to the marriage because you want to or you have a feeling that you need to. Always consider the things that will help in strengthening your commitment to your partner.

Improving Intimacy in Your Conjugal Life

You must strive to improve physical and emotional intimacy with your significant other. Actions such as kissing & hugging can enhance intimacy immensely in your married life. But this level of intimacy is needed from both sides.

Treating your partner as though you are ‘newly married’ can go a long way in forging love and commitment between yourselves. You need to keep the flame burning and keep things interesting with your partner.

What Happens When There is a Lack of Commitment in Your Marriage?

Lack of Commitment in Your Marriage
  • If there’s a lack of commitment with your spouse, then it will cause misunderstanding and inevitably lead to divorce.
  • Marriage requires understanding and sacrifices from the husband and the wife. If either the husband or the wife isn’t supportive enough, then the marriage may not work out. 
  • Infidelity may be inevitable if the husband or the wife lacks commitment. If the husband or the wife cannot fulfill their vows within their marriage, then it may lead to unwanted temptations.
  • If you aren’t committed to your marriage, then you won’t be able to put in the required time and effort to bring yourself closer to your partner.
  • Seeking help from a marriage counselor may help solve your conjugal problems but first you’ll need to commit to your partner.
  • If you’re not committed to your partner, then you’ll ignore the responsibility of your spouse.
  • A lack of commitment means you won’t be emotionally and physically present with your spouse. All your relationships require your utmost commitment.

How can you Strengthen your Commitment within your Marriage?

You’ll face many challenges within your marriage that will test your loyalty towards your spouse. However, if you feel work needs to be done about your commitment towards your spouse, then it is a good place to start.

You may ask yourself the following questions:

  1. I should commit to my marriage because..?
  2. I need to stay loyal and fulfill my vows within the marriage because..?

You may ask yourself the questions below and make an assessment –

  1. Be brave enough to set milestones and work towards completing them. Only you and your spouse can work on your marriage. You need to put in time and effort.
  2. Learn to open up and share your feelings with your spouse. You also need to be vocal about your love and commitment towards your spouse.
  3. It is okay to let your partner and children know that they’ve made you proud. You must also be ready to make certain sacrifices for your partner and children.


A lack of commitment in your marriage can cause havoc in your marriage. You and your spouse hold all the cards for a prosperous marriage. Learn to do things that enhance your personal commitment to your spouse in your married life. Performing actions that your partner enjoys can do wonders. 

Always be affectionate to your spouse to feel more connected to them. Performing kind deeds can help strengthen your commitment towards them. If your marriage is one-sided, then you and your partner will remain unsatisfied throughout your conjugal life. We have discussed how to deal with a lack of commitment in married life.  

Talha Ubaidullah
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