The relationship between husband and wife is one of the most significant bonds in Islam. In the Quran, Allah encourages couples to treat each other with kindness and compassion.
Establishing a strong husband-wife relationship in Islam involves nurturing love, trust, and communication. Trust and loyalty are also emphasized as essential pillars of a successful marriage.
Our Prophet Muhammad serves as a role model for trustworthiness, as he (S) was known to be the best to his wives. Mutual respect, collaboration in decision-making, and equality are also key elements of the husband-wife relationship in Islam.
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We will discuss the guidelines Muslim married couples should follow to build a strong relationship in accordance with Islamic principles.
How Should Be Husband-Wife Relationship in Islam: Quranic and Hadith-Based Guidelines
Every Muslim couple should abide by the below guidelines in order to maintain a peaceful and harmonious relationship:
- Expressing love and mercy
- Trust and loyalty
- Praying together
- Having mutual respect
- Partnership in decision-making
- Physical and emotional intimacy
- Patience, forgiveness, and forgetting
- Gratitude and appreciation
- Having fun together
- Communication and conflict resolution
- Avoiding negative behaviors
1. Expressing Love and Mercy
One essential aspect of a husband-wife relationship in Islam is the active expression of love and mercy towards one another. The Quran emphasizes the importance of these qualities in fostering a harmonious marital bond.
In Surah Ar-Rum (30:21), Allah states:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
This verse highlights the importance of showing love and mercy to one another.
Also, a Hadith found in Sunan Ibn Majah 1977 narrates that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) stated,
‘The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.’
According to this Hadith, the Prophet emphasized the importance of actively showing love and mercy to one’s spouse.
2. Trust and Loyalty
To cultivate a strong and peaceful husband-wife relationship in Islam, couples are encouraged to prioritize trust and loyalty as fundamental pillars of their bond. Trust is the foundation upon which a successful marriage is built. It involves having confidence in one another’s intentions, actions, and words.
Islam emphasizes the importance of fulfilling commitments and maintaining fidelity in marriage. Our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) set an example of trustworthiness in his relationships with his wives, demonstrating the significance of this virtue.
Loyalty means remaining committed and devoted to one’s partner. It means being there for each other through thick and thin and remaining faithful in times of difficulty. Trust and loyalty create a sense of security, strengthen the marital bond, and foster a deep love and companionship between husband and wife.
3. Praying Together
In Islam, praying together is not merely a ritual but a powerful means to strengthen the spiritual connection between husband and wife. Engaging in joint acts of worship is considered a profound way to deepen the spiritual bond between couples.
The shared moments of devotion create a unique unity, aligning both partners toward closeness to Allah. It’s important to note that the wife should stand behind the husband during Salah together.
4. Having Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is emphasized as an essential aspect of the husband-wife relationship. Both couples are encouraged to treat each other with dignity, recognizing the inherent value and contributions each brings to the marriage.
The Prophet’s teachings underscore the significance of respecting one another’s feelings and opinions. So, both husband and wife should strive to maintain mutual respect, even during times of disagreement.
5. Partnership in Decision-Making
Islam encourages couples to engage in ‘Shura,’ which involves mutual consultation and collective decision-making. This collaborative approach ensures that both partners have an equal say and share responsibility for the decisions that affect their lives.
By involving both spouses in the decision-making process, Islam aims to foster a sense of unity, understanding, and cooperation within the marital relationship.
The Quran and Hadiths provide guidance on the importance of seeking each other’s opinions, respecting differing viewpoints, and making decisions together.
6. Physical and Emotional Intimacy
In Islam, physical and emotional intimacy between husband and wife is highly encouraged to strengthen their marital bond.
The Quran, in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187), describes the husband and wife as clothes for each other, indicating the importance of intimacy in a marriage. Prophet Muhammad’s (S) behavior towards his wives, including gestures of intimacy, serves as a model for Muslim couples.
Husband and wife should fulfill each other’s physical and emotional intimacy needs. They should strive to create a loving and affectionate atmosphere in their marriage.
7. Patience, Forgiveness and Forgetting
Patience, forgiveness, and the ability to let go of past grievances are integral components of a resilient marital bond.
The Quran extols the value of patience in Surah Al-Imran (3:200):
“O believers! Patiently endure, persevere, stand on guard, and be mindful of Allah, so you may be successful.”
A Hadith found in Riyad as-Salihin 275, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another”.
This Hadith reminds us of the importance of forgiveness and looking past each other’s faults in a marriage.
8. Gratitude and Appreciation
To foster a strong and fulfilling husband-wife relationship in Islam, expressing gratitude and appreciation towards one another is of utmost importance.
Islam encourages couples to recognize and acknowledge the efforts and sacrifices made by their partners. By expressing gratitude, couples can create a positive and nurturing environment within their marriage.
The Quran teaches that gratefulness isn’t only a virtue but also a means of attracting more blessings from Allah. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of showing appreciation to one’s spouse and advised Muslims to express gratitude for even the smallest acts of kindness.
9. Having Fun Together
Engaging in enjoyable activities together strengthens the bond between husband and wife in Islam, fostering a harmonious and fulfilling marital relationship. Our Prophet Muhammad set an example by engaging in light-hearted and enjoyable activities with his wives.
A Hadith found in Sunan Abi Dawud 2578, narrated by Aisha (RA), Ummul Mu’minin:
“while she was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping.”
Islam encourages couples to spend quality time together, participating in activities that bring joy and laughter. This could include going for walks, cooking together, playing games, or exploring new hobbies as a team.
10. Communication and Conflict Resolution
Effective communication is essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced husband-wife relationship. The Quran and Hadith emphasize the importance of open and honest communication between spouses.
Islam encourages couples to express their feelings, concerns and needs respectfully. Constructive communication is vital for addressing issues and resolving conflicts in a marriage. It allows spouses to understand each other better, build trust, and strengthen their bond.
A fundamental principle of Islam is that communication should be based on kindness, compassion, and empathy. Couples are encouraged to actively listen to each other, validate each other’s emotions, and avoid negative communication patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
11. Avoiding Negative Behaviors
Islam emphasizes avoiding harmful behaviors in the husband-wife relationship, like mistrust, dishonesty, and lying.
The teachings of Islam emphasize the need for couples to trust and be honest with each other, as trust forms the foundation of a strong marital relationship. Engaging in dishonesty, such as lying or hiding important information, can lead to a breakdown of trust and create a toxic environment within the marriage.
Likewise, harmful actions, such as physical or emotional abuse, are forbidden. Islam promotes kindness, compassion, and respect between spouses, urging them to treat each other with love and care.
Wrapping Up
Adhering to Quranic and Hadith-based guidelines provides a comprehensive roadmap for a harmonious husband-wife relationship in Islam. Muslim couples need to express love and mercy to each other.
Praying together, fostering mutual respect, engaging in collaborative decision-making, and embracing physical and emotional intimacy contribute to a strong marital foundation. The principles of patience, forgiveness, gratitude, and having fun together further enhance the bond.
Effective communication and steering clear of negative behaviors are crucial for resolving conflicts. Couples can create an enduring marriage based on these principles, guided by the teachings of Islam, which ensures love, understanding, and spiritual growth.
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Sources:
https://www.al-islam.org/marital-life-importance-and-issues/rights-husband-and-wife
https://www.soundvision.com/article/tips-for-a-better-husband-and-wife-relationship
https://qa.islam.com/s/ycdjhf/husband_wife_relationship#gsc.tab=0
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/10680/rights-of-husband-and-rights-of-wife-in-islam
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