What Does The Quran Say About Family Problems?

The Quran discusses family relationships and how essential harmony, compassion, and justice are. Islamic Shariah provides a comprehensive guide to navigating family relationships based on the Quran and Sunnah.

The Quran highlights the significance of honoring parents and treating them kindly, even if they may not share the same faith. It encourages spouses to treat each other with kindness and respect, emphasizing mutual understanding and support.

Also, it advises siblings to maintain strong bonds and avoid jealousy or animosity. According to the Quran and Sunnah, harmonious family life is built on prayer, patience, prioritizing your spouse, and avoiding hasty arguments.

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Here, we’ll explore the Quran’s teachings on handling and resolving family issues according to most Islamic scholars.

What Does the Quran Say About Family Problems: 9 Circumstances

Regarding family problems, the Quran offers guidance on various aspects. Almighty Allah Says:

۞ وَٱعْبُدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا۟ بِهِۦ شَيْـًۭٔا ۖ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًۭا وَبِذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ وَٱلْمَسَـٰكِينِ وَٱلْجَارِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَٱلْجَارِ ٱلْجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلْجَنۢبِ وَٱبْنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخْتَالًۭا فَخُورًا ٣٦

“Worship Allāh and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allāh does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. [Ayah an-Nisa` (Women) 4:36]’’

Let’s see some practical ways to put this ayah in our daily life.

No 01: Prayer and Dua

What Does The Quran Say About Family Problems - Prayer and Dua

You should turn to Allah through prayer and dua when facing family problems. The Quran emphasizes the power of sincere supplication in finding strength and guidance.

Surah Al-Baqarah (2:286) reminds believers that:

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا ٱكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَآ إِصْرًۭا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ ۖ وَٱعْفُ عَنَّا وَٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَٱرْحَمْنَآ ۚ أَنتَ مَوْلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرْنَا عَلَى ٱلْقَوْمِ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ ٢٨٦

“Allāh does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.”

Seeking divine intervention through prayer is a means of finding solace and support. Islamic scholars stress the significance of heartfelt supplication, as it’s considered the essence of worship.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) affirmed the importance of dua, highlighting its role in connecting with Allah and seeking His assistance. It is only through regular prayer and earnestly seeking Allah’s help that we are able to reach the ultimate resolution.

No 02: Patience and Forgiveness

Practicing patience and forgiveness is essential in managing family problems, as the Quran emphasizes. The Quranic teachings stress the importance of patience in dealing with challenges within the family unit.

In Surah Al-Imran (3:134) Allah Says:

ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِى ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَـٰظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ ١٣٤

“˹They are˺ those who donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others. And Allah loves the good-doers.”

This virtue allows individuals to control their emotions and avoid hasty reactions that may further exacerbate the situation. Also, forgiveness is encouraged in the Quran as a characteristic of the ‘people of paradise’.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) exemplified forgiveness in his interactions with others. By forgiving others, individuals can promote healing, restore relationships, and foster a harmonious atmosphere within the family.

No 03: Prioritize Spouse

Prioritize Spouse

To address family problems, you must prioritize your spouse by the teachings of the Quran. The Quran emphasizes the value of mutual care and consideration between spouses.

Allah has placed love and mercy between husband and wife, as stated in Surah Ar-Rum (30:21):

وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ ٢١

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

This highlights the need to prioritize your spouse’s needs, emotions, and well-being.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) also emphasized treating one’s spouse with kindness and consideration. This means actively listening to their concerns, showing empathy, and being supportive. You should also make time for your spouse, express gratitude for their presence, and work together to solve problems.

No 04: Avoid Hasty Arguments

Frequently, we must refrain from engaging in hasty arguments to address and resolve family problems, as advised by the Quran. The Quran instructs us to speak with measured and kind words and avoid disputes and arguments.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Whoever gives up telling lies in support of a false claim, a palace will be built for him in the outskirts of Paradise. Whoever gives up an argument when he is in the right, a palace will be built from him in the middle (of Paradise). And whoever had good behavior, a palace will be built for him in the highest reaches (of Paradise).” [Sunan Ibn Majah 51]

Taking time to reflect and address issues calmly can contribute to the overall well-being and stability of the family unit.

No 05: Avoid Comparisons

Avoid Comparisons

Islam discourages comparing oneself or one’s family situation with others. This is because the Quran acknowledges the diversity of human conditions and warns against coveting what others possess. Comparisons can lead to envy, discontent, and a lack of gratitude for one’s own blessings.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

اُنْظُرُوْا إِلَى مَنْ أَسْفَلَ مِنکُمْ وَلاَ تَنْظُرُوْا إِلَى مَنْ ھُوَ فَوْقَکُمْ فَھُوَ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ لاَّ تَزْدَرُوْا نِعْمةَ اللّٰہِ

“Look at those who are lower than you [i.e., in health, status, fortune, etc.] and do not look at those who are at a higher level than you, for it is the best way not to disparage the favours Allah the Almighty.” (Sahih Muslim, Kitab az-zuhd wa r-raqa’iq, Hadith 2963c)

Final Words

Now we can understand that the Quranic and Hadith guidance on family matters provides a profound roadmap for navigating human relationships.

From the profound power of prayer and patience to the transformative qualities of kindness, forgiveness, and communication, Islam encapsulates a holistic approach to resolving familial problems. By adhering to these principles, we can contribute to a family environment characterized by love, understanding, and unity.

The teachings of Islam underscore the significance of spiritual purification, gratitude, and the cultivation of virtues that strengthen familial bonds. With families facing the inevitable trials of life, Islam offers solace, direction, and a path toward enduring harmony.

Omar Abdullah

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