When the threads of trust in a marriage start unraveling, you might find yourself contemplating what actions could irreparably damage this sacred bond.
In the context of Islam, stepping outside the bounds of marriage through actions like adultery or choosing to leave the faith can sever what was meant to be a lifelong commitment.
These aren’t just personal choices; they resonate deeply within the fabric of the community and spiritual life. As you ponder the implications of breaking these fundamental vows, consider how such decisions could echo beyond the immediate turmoil they create. What might be the broader implications for all involved?
What Actions Break the Marriage Covenant: 3 Actions
Muslim Life Partner?
When you consider the actions that can break the marriage covenant, you must understand the gravity of each decision.
Talaq (Divorce)
Talaq is the Islamic term for divorce. It can be initiated by either the husband or the wife, though the process and conditions differ depending on the school of Islamic jurisprudence (Madhhab).
In general, there are two main types of talaq, and understanding the kinds of talaq is crucial, as specific actions can irrevocably break the marriage covenant in Islam.
- Talaq al-Sunnah
This refers to the divorce method that follows the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It involves the husband pronouncing divorce to his wife in a state of purity while not having had sexual relations with her during her current menstrual cycle. According to the Holy Quran,
لَّا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُوا۟ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةًۭ ۚ وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى ٱلْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُۥ وَعَلَى ٱلْمُقْتِرِ قَدَرُهُۥ مَتَـٰعًۢا بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۖ حَقًّا عَلَى ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ ٢٣٦ وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةًۭ فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّآ أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَا۟ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِۦ عُقْدَةُ ٱلنِّكَاحِ ۚ وَأَن تَعْفُوٓا۟ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ۚ وَلَا تَنسَوُا۟ ٱلْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ ٢٣٧
“There is no blame if you divorce women before the marriage is consummated or the dowry is settled. But give them a ˹suitable˺ compensation—the rich according to his means and the poor according to his. A reasonable compensation is an obligation on the good-doers. And if you divorce them before consummating the marriage but after deciding on a dowry, pay half of the dowry, unless the wife graciously waives it or the husband graciously pays in full. Graciousness is closer to righteousness. And do not forget kindness among yourselves. Surely Allah is All-Seeing of what you do.” [Surah Al-Baqarah: 236 & 237]
However, if the husband pronounces divorce while having had sexual relations, it is recommended to divorce them while they’re still waiting. Allah SWT says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا۟ ٱلْعِدَّةَ ۖ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ ۖ لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنۢ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُۥ ۚ لَا تَدْرِى لَعَلَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَٰلِكَ أَمْرًۭا ١
“O Prophet! ˹Instruct the believers:˺ When you ˹intend to˺ divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period, and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord. Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave—unless they commit a blatant misconduct. These are the limits set by Allah. And whoever transgresses Allah’s limits has truly wronged his own soul. You never know, perhaps Allah will bring about a change ˹of heart˺ later.” [Surah At-Talaq: 1]
- Talaq al-Bid’ah:
This is a new idea in divorce, not by the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It involves pronouncing multiple divorces in a single sitting or pronouncing divorce during a woman’s menstrual period, among other deviations from the Sunnah.
Leaving the Religion (Apostasy)
Apostasy, or leaving the Islamic faith, is considered a serious matter in Islam. The Quran and Hadith address apostasy, but there’s some variation in interpretation among scholars and schools of thought.
Some scholars argue that apostasy invalidates a marriage, while others believe that the marriage remains intact. However, according to Shaykh Hamza Karamali, SunniPath Academy Teacher, (link>>>)
“If a woman intended unbelief (kufr) (Allah be our refuge), then she becomes an apostate, and the marriage is annulled if it was not consummated…”
Adultery (Zina)
Engaging in adultery fundamentally undermines the trust and commitment that form the foundation of any marital relationship. Zina, or sexual activity outside of marriage, is a serious offense in Islam, often leading to the dissolution of the marital bond if it severely disrupts the relationship’s integrity.
Consequences of Breaking Marriage Vows in Islam
Breaking marriage vows in Islam can lead to profound religious and social repercussions. When you break these sacred promises, you’re affecting your relationship with your spouse, your standing within the community, and your spiritual well-being.
In addition, adultery is a serious offense that has consequences for those who are married. It was narrated that ‘Amr bin Ghalib said:
“Aishah said: ‘Do you not know that the Messenger of Allah [SAW] said: It is not permissible to shed the blood of a Muslim, except a man who committed adultery after being married, or one who reverted to Kufr after becoming Muslim, or a life for a life.'” [Sunan an-Nasa’i: 4017]
This hadith was also narrated by ‘Uthman bin ‘Affan, and he said:
“I heard the Messenger of Allah [SAW] say: ‘It is not permissible to shed the blood of a Muslim except in three cases: A man who commits adultery after having married; or one who kills another person, who is to be killed; or who reverts to Kufr after having accepted Islam, who is to be killed.'” [Sunan an-Nasa’i: 4058]
It was also narrated from Ibn`Abbas that `Umar bin Khattab said:
“I fear that after a long time has passed, some will say: ‘I do not find (the sentence of) stoning in the Book of Allah (ﷺ),’ and they will go astray by abandoning one of the obligations enjoined by Allah (SWT). Rather stoning is a must if a man is married (or previously married) and proof is established, or if pregnancy results or if he admits it. I have read it (in the Quran). “And if an old man and an old woman commit adultery, stone them both.” The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) stoned (adulterers) and we stoned (them) after him.’ ” [Sunan Ibn Majah: 2553]
There was also narration by Zaid bin Khalid and Abu Huraira:
“The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “O Unais! Go to the wife of this (man) and if she confesses (that she has committed illegal sexual intercourse), then stone her to death.“” [Sahih al-Bukhari 2314, 2315]
Navigating the Delicate Streams of Marriage with Integrity and Understanding
As you navigate the waves of marriage, remember that actions like divorce, apostasy, and adultery can be like storms that capsize your boat. It is similar to the fragile state of a broken covenant as a once-sturdy vessel is now vulnerable to sinking.
Each act rocks your spiritual and emotional stability and sends ripples across your community. Strive to steer your ship with integrity, understanding your choices’ profound impact on calm and turbulent seas.
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