Before the Western culture spread, Muslim parents were solely responsible for finding spouses for their descendants. But many young Muslims nowadays rely on finding their partners by premarital date. But still, some young Muslims are aware of their religion and ask- “Can Muslims have girlfriends/boyfriends?”
In short, having girlfriends and boyfriends is haram(forbidden) in Islam. The Quran and Sunnah prove it. The consequence is miserable in both the earthly and afterlife.
Let’s see how having girlfriends and boyfriends in Islam is haram in detail.
Can Muslims Have Girlfriends? Is It Haram to Have a Girlfriend?
Muslim Life Partner?
There is no concept of having girlfriends in Islam, and it is haram. The Quran, Sahih Hadith, and interpretations of Islamic Scholars prove this. Let’s understand this with proper references.
The Holy Quran Forbids Keeping Girlfriends and Boyfriends
Allah says in the Quran,
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” [Al Isra, 17:32]
Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf (May Allah Have Mercy on Him) interpreted this ayah in his Tafsir Ahsanul bayan that,
Here it is said, do not even approach adultery. That is, stay away from the means that encourage it. For example,
- Meeting a ‘gayer mahram’ (stranger with whom marriage is not haram) woman, and
- Facilitating free association and conversation with her.
It is important to stay away from all such activities, such as dressing up women and leaving the house with dresses that can’t veil the women properly.
So, when a man makes a girlfriend, this pushes him to commit unlawful sexual conduct. Such a relationship is among the biggest approaches to adultery.
Allah Subhanahu Ta’ala also says in the Quran,
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity: this will be most conducive to their purity – [and,] verily, God is aware of all that they do.
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity, and not to display their charms [in public] beyond what may [decently] be apparent thereof; hence, let them draw their head-coverings over their bosoms.
And let them not display [more of] their charms to any but their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands’ fathers, or their sons, or their husbands’ Sons, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their womenfolk, or those whom they rightfully possess, or such male attendants as are beyond all sexual desire, or children that are as yet unaware of women’s nakedness….” [Surah An-Noor, 24: 30-31]
See, Allah even says to keep Mumin men and women to keep their gaze lower. And women also can’t display themselves (face, wrist, and permissible part of body) to none other than the people Allah mentioned.
So, when a man has a girlfriend, he will see the girl, touch her, which will drive them to sin.
Allah says in the Quran to marry sexually pure men and women:
“… Marry them, then, with their people’s leave, and give them their dowers in an equitable manner-they being women who give themselves in honest wedlock(chaste), not in fornication, nor as secret love companions…..” [Surah An-Nisa, 4:25]
Ibn Kathir (May Allah have mercy on him) said in this ayah with his interpretation that,
The word “Muhsanaat( مُحۡصَنَـٰتٍ), which is translated as “chaste,” means women who are pure and never involved in any unlawful sexual activities. [Tafsir Ibn Kathir]
The law is for both men and women. So, when a man or woman conducts unlawful sexual conduct (Which is done when they make boyfriends and girlfriends), they don’t remain sexually pure.
Allah says in another place in the Quran,
“…..provided that you give them their dowers, taking them in honest wedlock, not in fornication, nor as secret love companions….” [Surah Al-Ma’idah, 5:5]
Ibn Kathir (Allah have mercy on him) interpreted this that,
Here, the conditions of chastity imposed for women are the same for men.
And along with this it is said that they should not commit adultery openly, nor prowl here and there, and not engage in adultery due to special relationships (boyfriend-girlfriend relationship).
Imam Ahmad (May Allah have mercy on him) also opined that no believing man can marry an adulterous woman until she repents. The same condition is imposed on men. [Tafsir Ibn Kathir of Surah Ma’idah:5]
Sunnah Prohibits Making Premarital Relationships
Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessing of Allah be Upon Him) said,
“…When two non-Mahram women and men get together, their third partner is Satan….” [Sahih At-Tirmiji, 2165]
So, what is a haram relationship? Making a relationship with a non-mahram is haram. Because satan whispers the men and women to conduct unlawful sex.
Beloved Prophet (Peace and Blessing of Allah be Upon Him) also said that,
“The fornication of the eyes is to look at someone unlawfully, the fornication of the mouth is to talk indecently. The hand also commits adultery, but it’s adultery to touch someone unlawfully with the hand.
The foot also commits adultery, but fornication of the foot is to go for an adultery. The mouth also commits adultery, but the fornication of the mouth is to kiss someone unlawfully. The fornication of the ear is to listen to obscenity, the mind also desires for fornication. And then sex organs either implements it or don’t.” [Sahih Abu Daud: 2152, 2153, 2154]
Allama Khattabi (May Allah have mercy on him) Said that the reason why seeing and talking are called jina is that both are roles of real jina(fornication). The previous level of Jina’s original work.
Because sight is the opener of the secret world of the mind and the tongue is the carrier of the message, the genitals are the instrument of implementation.
So, you see, making love with non-mahram women and men is nothing but a form of jina(fornication). And jina is haram in Islam in all possible forms.
Final Thought
So, can you have a girlfriend in Islam? According to the Quran and sahih Hadith, you can’t do so because it is haram. You may ask why is it haram?
See, Islam means to surrender our will to the will of Allah. So, when our lord makes something obvious, we are bound to obey this. So, as Muslims, we must refrain ourselves from making such girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, which is a form of Zina.
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