Friendship in Islam is an integral part of human interaction, but there are certain boundaries that every Muslim must abide by.
According to Islamic Sharia, a married man and woman can’t maintain a platonic friendship. Islamic Sharia clearly prohibits friendships between non-Mahram individuals of the opposite gender.
The prohibition is grounded in Quranic verses and Hadiths emphasizing the importance of maintaining chastity and avoiding relationships that may lead to temptation.
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Male individuals can have male friends, and females can have female friends. While communication on necessary matters is allowed, the emphasis is on conducting such interactions in open places without suspicion or desire.
We will discuss why non-mahram friendships are prohibited and what challenges & issues married people face if they make friends with non-mahrams.
Can a Married Man and a Woman Be Just Friends: Overview from Islamic Perspectives
Every Muslim married individual should be aware of the following aspects of friendship from an Islamic perspective:
- Prohibition of non-mahram friendships
- Challenges and issues faced by married individuals
Prohibition of Non-Mahram Friendships
Islamic Sharia unequivocally prohibits Muslim males from fostering friendships with females who aren’t Mahram. This prohibition is based on Quranic verses and Hadiths that emphasize the importance of chastity and the avoidance of relationships that could compromise one’s moral and spiritual integrity.
Close friendships between non-Mahrams are un-Islamic because they can lead to haram activities like staring, lustful thoughts, flirtatious behavior, and seduction. Islam prohibits not only explicit acts of fornication and adultery but also any circumstances or ways that may lead to them.
According to Quranic verses (An-Nur 24:30-31), Allah states:
“˹O Prophet!˺ Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and not to reveal their adornments except what normally appears. Let them draw their veils over their chests, and not reveal their ˹hidden˺ adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their sons, their stepsons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, their fellow women, those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession, male attendants with no desire, or children who are still unaware of women’s nakedness.
Let them not stomp their feet, drawing attention to their hidden adornments. Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful.”
This verse clearly outlines the boundaries of modesty and chastity for both men and women, emphasizing the importance of avoiding non-mahram friendships.
Allah created men and women with certain inclinations, and Islam acknowledges the natural desires of both genders. The restrictions on mingling and developing friendships with the opposite sex are designed to safeguard against potential negative consequences.
Also Read: Top 20 Islamic Friendship Quotes
A hadith found in Sahih Muslim 2658a, Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (S) as saying:
“Allah fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the lustful look and the adultery of the ears is listening to voluptuous (song or talk) and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech and the adultery of the hand is the lustful grip (embrace) and the adultery of the feet is to walk (to the place) where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he may or may not put into effect.”
This hadith further reaffirms the gravity of indulging in non-mahram friendships.
Although communication is necessary, it is only permitted in open places without suspicion or desire, such as educational or official interactions.
Even the wives of the Prophet are provided with specific guidance on etiquette, emphasizing the importance of speaking honorably and avoiding soft speech that may lead to undesirable feelings.
Islamic Fiqh, particularly as per the Hanafi school of thought, reiterates the prohibition of non-Mahram friendships. Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah confirms alignment with Islamic jurisprudence by providing guidance from scholars like Imam Abdul-Malik Sheikh.
Challenges and Issues Faced by Married Individuals
Married individuals face various challenges and issues when attempting to maintain friendships with the opposite gender, such as:
1. Fitnah (Temptation)
Engaging in friendships with individuals of the opposite gender can lead to Fitnah, creating a potential atmosphere of temptation and discord within marriages. In Islamic perspectives, Fitnah refers to the trials and tribulations that can arise when a married man and a woman engage in a close friendship.
This temptation can potentially lead to emotional or physical infidelity, undermining the trust and stability of the marital relationship.
2. Misunderstandings
When married people try to maintain a non-mahram friendship, they can have misunderstandings, which leads to problems. Communication with the opposite gender, especially via social media, can create opportunities for misinterpretation and suspicion.
Innocent interactions can be misconstrued as flirtation or infidelity, causing conflicts and mistrust within the marriage. This can ultimately strain the relationship and result in emotional turmoil for both spouses.
3. Violation of Trust
Trust is a fundamental pillar of any marriage, and the consequences can be severe when it’s violated. Engaging in friendships with non-Mahram individuals without the knowledge or consent of one’s spouse can lead to feelings of betrayal and insecurity.
This violation of trust can create a rift between spouses, damaging the emotional bond that holds the marriage together.
It’s essential for married individuals to prioritize the trust and security of their relationship and refrain from engaging in friendships that may compromise this trust.
Also Read: Quran Verse About Friendship
4. Spiritual and Moral Degradation
When married individuals maintain friendships with non-Mahram individuals, potential spiritual and moral degradation may occur. It’s crucial for married individuals to be mindful of the potential consequences of such friendships and to prioritize their commitment to their spouses and their faith.
Preserve the Sanctity of Marriage and Uphold Islamic Values in All Relationships
The Islamic perspective on friendships between married men and women is unequivocal, emphasizing the prohibition of non-Mahram relationships. Based on Quranic verses and Hadiths, these guidelines serve to preserve the sanctity of marriage and foster an environment of trust and chastity.
Fitnah, misunderstandings, breach of trust, and the potential for spiritual and moral degradation highlight the importance of following these principles.
Each Muslim married individual should prioritize the principles of their faith, protect their marriages, and uphold the values that make a marriage harmonious and fulfilling.
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Sources:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/extramarital-affairs/married-can-male-friends/
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