The permissibility of intimate acts within the confines of marriage is a topic of profound significance in Islamic teachings. In Islam, the marriage bed is considered a sacred space where couples can engage in acts of love and intimacy within the boundaries set by Allah.
Among the permissible actions are the acts of looking and touching, in which spouses are encouraged to express affection and desire for one another. Kissing and caressing, another permissible aspect, enhances intimacy and strengthens bonds between spouses, fostering gentleness and affection.
These acts of physical intimacy are not only allowed but also encouraged, with sexual intercourse itself being deemed a source of blessing and fulfillment when approached with sincerity and mutual respect.
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We will discuss what is permissible in the marriage bed and what should be avoided according to Islamic Sharia so that the marriage bond can remain pure and blessed.
Permissibility in the Marriage Bed According to Islam
According to Islamic Sharia, the marriage bed is a place for physical and emotional fulfillment. Muslim married couples are allowed to engage in:
- Looking and Touching
- Kissing and Caressing
- Sexual Intercourse
Now, let’s discuss each of these acts in greater detail based on Islamic Sharia, which contributes to keeping the marriage bed pure and fulfilled.
Looking and Touching
Muslim married couples are encouraged to approach looking and touching within the marriage bed with mutual respect and modesty. In Islam, it’s permissible for spouses to view each other’s private parts, yet they’re urged to retain a sense of discretion.
This practice should manifest with a deep respect for one another’s privacy and comfort levels. Both partners need to freely give their consent, ensuring that any form of intimacy is mutually agreeable.
Kissing and Caressing
Kissing and caressing, as acts of foreplay, aren’t only permissible but also encouraged in Islam to foster intimacy and strengthen the marital bond. These expressions of love and affection are vital in enhancing the emotional and physical connection between spouses.
Islam teaches that such acts should always be approached with gentleness and affection, emphasizing mutual respect and care. The focus is on achieving mutual satisfaction, ensuring both partners feel valued and fulfilled.
Sexual Intercourse
Sexual intercourse, encouraged within the sanctity of marriage in Islam, serves as a profound means of strengthening the marital bond, fulfilling desires, and enabling procreation. It’s not only permissible but encouraged, fulfilling multiple significant roles.
It is recommended that couples approach this intimate act with sincere intentions, focusing on pleasing Allah and fulfilling each other’s needs. Before engaging, reciting a specific dua for protection against Shaytan is recommended.
A hadith from Sahih al-Bukhari 6388 states, narrated Ibn `Abbas: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual intercourse with his wife, says:
بِاسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا، فَإِنَّهُ إِنْ يُقَدَّرْ بَيْنَهُمَا وَلَدٌ فِي ذَلِكَ، لَمْ يَضُرَّهُ شَيْطَانٌ أَبَدًا
‘Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaitan, wa jannibi-sh-shaitan ma razaqtana,’ and if the couple are destined to have a child (out of that very sexual relation), then Satan will never be able to harm that child.”
This supplication is aimed at safeguarding the couple and any future offspring. Both partners need to contribute to and respect each other’s comfort, ensuring mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Open communication and consideration are crucial, helping avoid any actions that could cause discomfort or harm.
Forbidden Acts of Sex in Islam
After knowing the permissible acts in Islam, it’s equally important to understand what is considered forbidden within the marriage bed. Below are some acts that are considered forbidden in Islam:
Intercourse During Menstruation (Haydh)
Islamic Sharia strictly prohibits sexual intercourse during a woman’s menstrual period, as outlined in both the Quran and Hadith. The Quran explicitly advises believers to avoid this act until the woman has purified herself post-menstruation. This directive emphasizes both spiritual cleanliness and physical health.
In Surah Al-Baqarah (2:222), Allah Says:
وَيَسْـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًۭى فَٱعْتَزِلُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فِى ٱلْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ ٱللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلتَّوَّٰبِينَ وَيُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ ٢٢٢
“They ask you ˹O Prophet˺ about menstruation. Say, “Beware of its harm! So keep away, and do not have intercourse with your wives during their monthly cycles until they are purified.1 When they purify themselves, then you may approach them in the manner specified by Allah. Surely Allah loves those who always turn to Him in repentance and those who purify themselves.”
Furthermore, according to a hadith found in Sunan Ibn Majah 644, it was narrated from Anas that:
“The Jews would not sit with a menstruating woman in a house, nor eat with her, nor drink with her. That was mentioned to the Messenger of Allah (S), then Allah revealed the words: “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is a harmful thing, therefore, keep away from women during menses.” The Messenger of Allah (S) said: “Do everything except sexual intercourse.”
So, Islam clearly prohibits sexual intercourse during a woman’s menstrual cycle. However, couples are encouraged to continue showing affection and care towards each other during this time.
Intercourse in the Back Passage (Anal Intercourse)
Anal intercourse is explicitly forbidden in Islam. This prohibition is communicated through several hadiths where the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) expressed clear disapproval.
For instance, in Sunan Abi Dawud 2162, it’s reported, The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
“He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed.“
Similarly, Mishkat al-Masabih 3195 includes a hadith where the Prophet (peace be upon him) declares that
“Allah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a man or a woman through the anus.”
These teachings underscore that such acts aren’t only disallowed but also considered serious transgressions in the Islamic faith.
Intercourse During Menstrual and Postpartum Bleeding (Nifas)
Sexual relations during menstrual and postpartum bleeding are strictly forbidden in Islam, adhering to clear religious directives until purification is achieved. This prohibition is rooted in the teachings of the Quran and Hadith, where it’s emphasized that such activities should be avoided to respect the physical well-being and spiritual purity of both partners.
The period of postpartum bleeding, known as nifas, similarly requires abstinence until the woman has ceased bleeding and has performed the ritual purification, ghusl. This guidance ensures that the intimate relations resume only when it’s physically safe and religiously appropriate, fostering a respectful and considerate approach towards marital intimacy.
Compliance with these rules is seen as a testament to one’s faith and respect for divine ordinances.
During the Daytime of Ramadan
In addition to the aforementioned forbidden acts within the marriage bed, there are specific guidelines regarding sexual relations during the daytime of Ramadan, the sacred month of fasting in Islam. It is prohibited for married couples to engage in sexual intercourse while observing the fast.
This directive is rooted in the fasting rules prescribed by Allah in the Quran (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187), where believers are instructed to abstain from food, drink, and sexual relations from dawn until sunset during the month of Ramadan.
The fasting period is a time of spiritual purification and heightened devotion, and engaging in sexual relations during this time is considered a violation of the sanctity of the fast.
Couples are encouraged to fulfill their marital duties and maintain affection outside of fasting hours, ensuring that they uphold the sacredness of the fast and honor the teachings of Islam.
Uphold Marital Sanctity Within Islamic Sharia
Understanding what is permissible in the marriage bed according to Islamic Sharia is essential for maintaining a harmonious and blessed marital relationship. In Islam, couples are allowed to engage in acts of looking and touching, kissing and caressing, and sexual intercourse within the boundaries set by Allah.
However, it’s equally important to avoid forbidden acts such as intercourse during menstruation, anal intercourse, and sexual relations during fasting hours in Ramadan.
By adhering to these guidelines, couples can uphold the sanctity of their marriage bed, ensuring mutual respect, fulfillment, and obedience to Islamic Sharia.
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