If you are going through a difficult phase in your married life and, for whatever reason, you are not happy with your spouse, you may see divorce as a solution to all your troubles. This is because the feeling that you have could make you only consider or pay more attention to the perceived advantages of the break up rather than the disadvantages.
It is possible that it will cause a shift in perspective, and people will believe that divorce is their only way out when, in truth, there might be other alternatives that are better than divorce, for example, marriage counseling.
On the other hand, if the thought of divorce is unwanted but seems completely necessary owing to some factors in your marriage, you are more likely to dwell on the negative consequences of dissolution.
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It can lead you to ignore the opportunities that may result from the divorce, opportunities that include Self-actualization, freedom, and better health in the future after divorce. Therefore, the decision should be taken with an open mind while considering every angle count.
Keep reading to find out the pros and cons of divorce and make the right decisions.
Does the Quran Encourage Divorce?
Divorce is allowed in the Shari’ah, however it does not encourage it, as the Qur’ān recognizes the marriage witnessing between a husband and a wife as permanent. If the chance of reunion is impossible, then this is acceptable.
The couple is even expected to use negotiation or family arbitration to seek solutions to their problems and call for ‘mutual good treatment.’ Nonetheless, where the parties cannot agree, they are allowed to divorce, which is regarded as the least permissible action by Allah (SWT), as said by the Prophet Muhammad.
Talaq is one way provided by Islamic law where a husband can unilaterally dissolve the marriage, and Khul’ – means that a wife can sue for divorce but has to pay her husband a sum of money in return.
Pros of Getting a Divorce
Let’s take a close look into the potential benefits of divorce:
Escaping a Dangerous Situation
One significant pro of divorce is the ability to escape an abusive or violent partner or spouse. In such circumstances, divorce is not only a favored but also a required option so that the lives of all people can be saved.
Family violence is not uncommon and can result in severe physical, mental, and psychological implications. Mert Şeker, a psychologist, said one is likely to have long-term effects as a result of living in an abusive environment.
Preventing any harm to oneself and the children is always vital, and that is where divorce comes in as the only way out.
Regaining Self-respect and Commitment
Divorce helps you regain dignity and self-respect that has perhaps been destroyed in the marriage.
Sometimes, this means leaving a relationship with a partner who does not respect you to make way for a new partner who will respect you as you are and make you happy. It could also mean just enjoying your own company and staying alone but without having to cope with disrespect.
Gaining Freedom
To this effect, freedom can be defined simply as; the ability to exercise one’s independence to attain personal objectives or aspirations.
Marriage is a way of receiving and giving, and several objectives that need to be achieved together. However, at times, it reaches an extent that it hampers personal ambition and even personal desires.
Divorce redefines your freedom, which means you do not have to adjust to your partner’s goals as you would in marriage. This leads to a chance to do what you want to do. Career progression, traveling or having more time for favorite activities, new hobbies—all these can be related to divorce in one way or another.
Improving Your Child’s Well-being
The effects of an unstable marriage cannot be discussed without mentioning that children will be affected. They can miss out on average growth and grow up to be rather harsh and unforgiving individuals, always on the edge of conflict.
That being the case, although divorce may be difficult, especially for children, it can also take them away from undesirable circumstances. If the parents are willing to go for a divorce and remain friendly to each other, especially towards the kids, the conditions will be much more peaceful.
Change the Way You Think About Your Partner
The pressures of marriage could be unbearable, but removing the marital factor may sometimes lead to a better understanding of each other and grow into a friendship.
This could prove useful in shared parenting and establishing the best atmosphere for the kids in the family.
A Fresh Start on a Clean Slate
As much as divorce is the end of a marriage, it could also be the beginning of a much happier life. Therefore, swinging is a chance for a person to get acquainted with new partners and meet a more suitable partner.
Your previous marriage gives you an opportunity to learn a few things that must be avoided in the next marriage, thus making the choice of the partner wiser and more purposeful.
Cons of Getting a Divorce
While there are potential benefits, it’s also important to consider the drawbacks and challenges that come with divorce:
Impact on Children
Well, divorce yields considerable emotional and psychological problems to children. It makes them feel afraid and insecure a lot often.
An apparent post-divorce concern that parents should avoid or minimize is making the children feel that there is no love for them. Staying as consistent as possible with previous regularities, explaining changes in the schedule, and finding interventions for the troubles when needed can lessen the adverse effects on children.
Financial Challenges
Financial difficulties might ensue, as the distribution of properties and the acquisition of separate homes are usually more costly than the shared means in a single house. Things like attorney fees, spousal support, child support, and property division can be expensive.
To overcome these, sensitivity in managing the financial aspects and settling the conflicts where possible may help.
Emotional Toll
It must also be mentioned that the dissolution of a marriage can be difficult emotionally. Some of the emotions include depressed feelings, guilt, anger, and even relief. The transition involves mourning the loss of the relationship and the beginning of the process to build a new life.
This emotional stress can also affect other areas within the lifestyle, such as work, social relations, and an individual’s mental state. It helps to talk to friends, family, or a professional such as a therapist if you have one at this point.
Co-parenting Challenges
Raising the kids can be challenging, especially when one or both parents possess animosity or even different parenting methods. Cooperation, good communication, and the ability to make the right compromises are the keys to healthy co-parenting.
For this reason, the children must be the focus, and a friendly environment should be maintained at all times.
Feelings of Loneliness
Men and women who have gone through a divorce go through loneliness because they go from being part of a couple to being a single person again. This period may be isolating and thus can emotionally be a difficult time.
Take this time to engage in self-analysis, develop as an individual, and establish new relations. Participating in activities that promote independence will enhance improved mood hence reducing loneliness.
Conclusion
Deciding whether to stay in a marriage or divorce is a major life choice that requires weighing all the pros and cons and a realistic self-assessment. Divorce can offer a fresh start from an unhappy marriage, but it’s not an easy process.
Seeking professional help from a counselor or lawyer is wise. Prioritize your and your children’s safety and well-being when making the final decision to improve overall health and happiness.
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